New Wonderland vs. Old Wonderland

It's been a while since I've updated the daily trials at Wonderland. I hope you didn't think things had gotten better.

They have not.

Wonderland was sold. And because I didn't want to lose my insurance and I didn't get that other job I applied for, I stayed. Like a fool, I stayed.

And speaking of benefits, the new owners of Wonderland said, oh, you don't have to worry about a lapse in insurance coverage.

LIES!

So, while the new Wonderland was taking an insurance premium out of my check. I had no coverage. No. Zip. Nada damn thing.
It took me threatening to go to the state for my insurance cards to magically appear.

There is a new cast of characters at Wonderland and still a revolving door of managers. In the 50 some odd days that the new Wonderland has been around, two managers got fired. Though not the one who should've gone away.

Loud ass Peter Griffin. Nah, this motherfucker got a promotion. Now, Papa Smurf, who came in a the beginning, wasn't much better. He brought in two people that he worked with in another place —like Gargamel's forest or some shit.
He brought Little Miss I Don't Work A Full Shift and Mr. Too Dumb To Breathe.
Mr. Too Dumb To Breathe quit before Papa Smurf got fired. But Little Miss I Don't Work A Full Shift  is still there.
Here are some of the excuses that she's used to get out of work:

• My Dog died
• My child has a cheerleading thing
• I have to fart.

Did I mention that she got a promotion too? And she's always playing the victim and the fucking management team allows her to do it. But she doesn't know a damned thing about the product. And this hooker isn't trying to learn, but she keeps getting handed shit.
The former head white man in charge, Mr. Burns, was fired shortly after Papa Smurf got fired. And things changed. For the worse!
It sucks to work at a job where you know more than the people you work for. I'm really thinking about selling plasma or becoming a pimp.
This is so not working for me!

Want to hear the most annoying sound in the world? Listen to Little Bookman laugh

Stupidity on overload

I can't wait for Thanksgiving.
Yes, I'm thankful for the time I will be spending with my family, but I'm most Thankful for getting the hell away from Little Bookman.

Hate is a strong word, so let me say I can't stand this lying idiot.
Here's the latest act of stupidity.

At Wonderland, we all have a computer that we have to use, it's password protected. But everyone who works here is supposed to have the password.
Well, one day, Little Bookman decided to change it and not tell a soul.

What kind of fuckery is that? So, me and the other sane employee in this joint were like, what in the entire fuck is going on here.
Then a week later. YES a whole week later.
The little Bitchbaby says, oh the new password is ZYX, instead of XYZ.

I would give up eating all of my favorite Thanksgiving foods if I could have Friday and Saturday off so that I wouldn't have to look in his face.
I need a vacation!
I need a new job!
He should quit!

Take your sick ass home

I hate cold and flu season. Hate it.
Other than the chance of catching a cold or getting the flu, there is always that one coworker who will drag his buffalo butt ass into work when he is filled with germs and spread it around like it's a freaking pu-pu platter.

Yes, in case you're wondering, I'm talking about Little Bookman.
This is the second cold and flu season that I've spent in Wonderland. And once again, his lying-I got to go let my mother-in-law in the house and I ain't even married-ass is sitting up in here coughing, sneezing and snotting.

Go home!

Yes. This is when you take your ass home. Not when you fake a motorcycle accident, but when you are sick and putting other people at risk. And by other people, I mean me.

My immune system isn't what it used to be. I get a cold, oh it turns into the flu.
But here you are, with a legitimate excuse to use A SICK DAY and you're spreading your germs like you normally spread lies.

Cough one more time and I swear I might drown your ass in Lysol or Clorox.

Don't believe me? Ask my roommate from my freshman year of college what I can do with a gallon of bleach.

Lady, I don't know you or your husband. . .

From the files of, you're bat shit crazy:

Phone rings at Wonderland.

I'm called over the intercom, call on line one.

Me: Thanks for holding, how may I help you.

Crazy Lady: How do you say your name.

Me: Pronounce my name.

CL: I've been trying to figure that out. You sent my husband a birthday card on my birthday. And I just wanted to let you know he is not a single man. He is not separated. I don't know what he's been telling you.

Me: Excuse me? I send my customers cards all the time.

CL: Well this was a very personal card.

Me: Ma'am, I we send birthday cards to customers.

CL: How did you get our information?

Me: Did you ever purchase an item from Wonderland?

CL: No.

Me: *Looking at the phone* Well, you came up in the database.

CL: He's not worth having and if you want to take him off my hands, that's fine.

Me: I don't know your husband and there is nothing going on there.

CL: So, your manager would approve of you sending this card.

Me: He sure would. *Thinking, bitch this card came from the Dollar Store and it was .50. How personal can it be?* What does the card say.

She reads it and in essence it says, Birthdays are days when the clouds roll away. Happy Birthday to a special person. It was actually kind of inspirational, which goes along with the alleged "Christian based" philosophy of Wonderland.

Me: OK. I've sent out plenty of those cards.

CL: I've called your cell phone and you wouldn't answer, so I decided to call you at work.

Me: OK. *Thinking, if I was fucking your husband, why would I send him my business card and why was I dumb enough to put my cell phone number on my cards? UGH!*

CL: Well, I'm going to keep checking into this.

Me: All righty then.

Spell checks my resume.

Words you wish you could use at work. . . In my case, say out loud.

Credit—http://en.webfail.com/f0de3ae82c1

Rare Sunday Post

No words, because this picture says it all about Wonderland