I really don't care for any of y'all

Once upon a time, I worked in a place where I actually liked my coworkers and my boss. We'd have lunch together, we'd hang out after work and they all supported my dream of becoming a published author. And by support, I mean they bought my books.

Thinking the grass was greener on the other side of the highway, I left that job. I did it for the money and for three years, I was happy as a lark. Then my boss left and all hell broke loose. A new guy was hired, the company went bankrupt and I found myself unemployed.

That would've been awesome if I had money rolling in from books every week. And I have to admit, maybe I've grown accustom to a steady paycheck and that's what is keeping me from doing the full-time author thing.

And, I need health insurance. OK. But I digress.

So, after a year of unemployment and a job in the call center from hell. iQor — yeah, I said it!
I started at Wonderland. Since I'm still employed there, I can't name the place, yet.
Here's a typical day there.

First, you walk in the door and you smile at the customers. Then you're hit with some stupid question or comment.
Example: Is that your natural hair color?

WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Another stupid question: Can I touch your hair?
Really?

Moving on from the customers, let me tell you about the cast of clowns I work with.

1. Little Bookman.
Dude is 25 and has done more in the Army than my dad did in his 30 plus year career. He's a ranger, he's in military intelligence, he's with the CIA, FBI, NYPD, and most importantly, the L.I.A.R.S. Club.
We were cool until his true colors came shining through. Like, he lied about being my frat brother. . .WHO DOES THAT?

2. Mr. Know it All
Here we have a 21 year old who has been doing this job for seven months and is already thinking he should be a manager. Manage these, dude. Really? When he's not selling, he whines and pouts like a petulant child who's never gotten his ass whipped. I'm talking with a Hot Wheels track type of whipping. Then he complains when he has to help some one, but expects others to bow down and show him how to keep the shit tracks out of his drawers —but he never says thank you.
3. Mr. Irrelevant
This guy just started working in Wonderland and he walks around talking about the most inane stuff in the world. Who cares about a 1983 Bentley when the game is on. Sir. Why. Are.You. Talking. To. ME?
And then he's one of those creepy guys who has to lean in to talk to you. Bruh! I'm going to need about 18 feet of personal space.
4. Mr. Poodle Man
This gentleman has allegedly been in the business for 20 years. But he doesn't know how to do this job. And he is supposed to be some publisher of a magazine, which I've never heard of or seen. But everyone around Wonderland knows he has pictures of half naked women in his iPhone 4. Yes, 4. Not even a 4s.
And no one seems to realize — but me —that he smells like a sick poodle.

I really don't care for anyone of them.