Sorry married man in a mini-van, but Scandal got you all messed up

And as adventures in Wonderland go, today was the first time I've ever had a customer be this stupid.

Mr. Miami Married man was sitting in the waiting area of Wonderland and all I did was offer him a cup of coffee. Next thing I know, he's asking if I'm married, if I have kids and all kinds of questions that have absolutely nothing to do with the product sold at Wonderland.

He said he didn't come to buy anything. Was getting something fixed on a product he'd already purchased. He goes on to say that he's married with four kids. Great. Good. I'm looking for a manager or somebody to call me to do an inane task. Nope.

His product is ready. He asked for a business card. This was the first time that I regretted having my cell phone number on that thing.

Here comes the text messages:

Him: Hey beautiful. Pleasure meeting you.
Me: You as well. Hope you have a great rest of your weekend. (Trying to keep it professional!)
Him: Looking forward to seeing you again. Let me know if you would enjoy that.

Now, I love Scandal. But never in my life have I wanted that fiction to become my reality. And let's be real, there was nothing attractive about you and the fact that you're a bartender on a side of town that I never ever hang out on means I won't see you unless you bring your product back in here. Hopefully, you'll bring your wife too.