Don't push me because I'm close to. . .aww damn!

Little Bookman actually took me there today. First of all, it's Saturday and I'd rather be any place else than here. I'd like to be hanging out with my college friends at Smith. I'd like to be wrapped up in front of the fireplace reading a book.

I'd like to be sitting on hot stones in Hawaii getting molested by a zombie sea creature than to be here, but I digress.

So, customer, who we will call Mr. Asshole, come in. Little Bookman instead of minding his business is all in mine.
My face is:

Because I know this lying little limping imp didn't just say: "Did she get you set up?'

1. Don't believe your Linkedin Profile, you are not a manager, not a senior consultant. Hell, you're only here because the manager CAN'T fire your ass. 

2. You're the one who allowed product to get stolen. 

3. You're a damned liar and your breath smells like the inside of a pig's ass.

So, don't question how I do my job. Don't come behind me like you're a manager. 

This was not going to stand. Not today. 

ME: Little Bookman, when I'm talking to a customer, I don't need you to come behind me.

LB: What are you talking about? 

<Insert eye roll>

ME: WHEN I'M TALKING TO A CUSTOMER, I DON'T NEED YOU TO GO BEHIND ME. MIND YOUR BUSINESS.

LB: All I asked was if everything was all right.

ME: YOU ARE NOT A MANAGER. IT IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS

LB: Whatever, you don't know who you're talking to.

ME: A damned liar. STOP WITH THE LIES. 

Drops the mike and walks away calling him every stupid motherfucker in the book in a loud whisper that I know he heard. 

Basically, you, your mama and the horse you rode in on. 

I don't have time for this! 

Logs on to Careerbuilder.com